Do you have any recommendations for us getting over the awkward hump of these valid hang-ups?

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Long-distance relationships pose many challenges, though perhaps the biggest downside of being apart from your S. The solution? Work at it — and be creative! Be willing to get inventive, open, and playful to keep the sparks alive. You can opt instead for exchanging flirty messages via a chat app like WhatsApp — or even Apple Notes like this couple. These apps can help break the ice and keep the exchange private and away from the more mundane conversations of daily life. Use dirty talk as a chance to reminisce about past sexual experiences with each other and fantasize about future sexual encounters together.

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Thanks to the novel coronavirus pandemic, pretty much everything you used to do in person—work, happy hour, doc appointments, weddings —have all moved to Zoom, Google Hangouts, and Facetime. But sex?


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Social distancing isn't easy — especially if you're socially distant from your partner. You're now effectively in a long-distance relationship, and what LDRs really need, especially if you want to keep the sexual intimacy part going strong, is adequate amounts of phone sex.

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Knowing what to say during phone sex may not come naturally. But Carol Queen, Ph. It's an extremely versatile kind of erotic play because it can involve this kind of power play-and-kink aspect, or just be a way to riff on fantasies or good times you've had when you were in the same bed. You both need to be completely focused and present.

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According to Queen, talking about phone sex beforehand and sending a calendar invite can help you be more comfortable. The last thing you want is to be mid-orgasm and get a notification that you only have 10 percent battery left on your phone. Make sure that all digital distractions, such as the TV or computer, are adding to the experience and not creating more distance.

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As Dr. Carolina Patakysex therapist and co-founder of the Love Discovery Institute, tells Bustle, "You need to be in a space where creativity and imagination are optimal. Reading off a script may not sound all that sexy, but it can help to calm your nerves if you have them prepared.

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If you're having trouble getting started, pull inspiration from your favorite movie sex scenes and go from there. Phone sex is all about the words you choose to use. A few choice phrases can make a big impact.

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According to Queen, it's important to determine what kind of language you're comfortable with and find erotic. Use terminology that will make you and your partner feel sexy. As Queen says, "This is supposed to be fun and sexy, not clinical.

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You give a little, then you get a little. Take turns arousing each other with dirty words by asking questions and keeping a good flow between you and your partner.

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For example, you can mention a sexy scenario and ask your partner what they would want to do next. According to Queen, this can build up the desire to actually act on said scenario the next time you're together in person.

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You may be a total pro at pleasuring yourself, but when you're having phone sex, it's important to remember that it's not just about you. When you start masturbating, tell your partner that you are doing it in exact detail.

1. find a good time for phone sex that works for both of you

What are you rubbing? Where are you putting your fingers? Be detailed. If FaceTime seems a little too intense the first time around, then go the selfie route by sending them photos of what you're doing in between all that dirty talking.

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But if you feel an orgasm coming on, embrace it, and be really vocal about it. It can be easy to overthink the entire experience, especially if you're a novice, but there's no need to. As long as you're both experiencing pleasure, you're getting it on in the right way.

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Happy dialing! Carolina Patakysex therapist and co-founder of the Love Discovery Institute. This article was originally published on July 21, By Amanda Chatel and Kristine Fellizar.

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Updated: March 18, Originally Published: July 21,

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