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We have all had toxic people dust us with their poison. Difficult people are drawn to the reasonable ones and all of us have likely had or have at least one person in our lives who have us bending around ourselves like barbed wire in endless attempts to please them — only to never really get there. Being able to spot their harmful behaviour is the first step to minimising their impact. You might not be able to change what they do, but you can change what you do with it, and any idea that toxic somebody in your life might have that they can get away with it. There are plenty of things toxic people do to manipulate people and situations to their advantage. Here are 12 of them. Knowing them will help you to avoid falling under the influence:.

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Before you can post or reply in these forums, please our online community. the online community Community rules Coping during the Coronavirus outbreak. I wanted to tell you, never be sorry for posting or talking about your feelings SO much of how you feel jumped out at me, and i can so relate to many things you said and are feeling. I just need someone to listen to me. So if anyone wants to talk, please let me know. I'm only hanging on by a thread.

It's amazing how a new reader can respond to you, which lonely hurt or just wanna talk means that many other people are also doing the same, but I welcome Robbie and thank him so much for replying to yourself, and I do hope that he will let us know how he feels. It's a catch 22 situation, because when we are depressed we don't like people smothering us, we can't stand too much affection, because we either can't handle it, or it's not exactly the attention we want, it's not going to rid us of our depression, and maybe it's it's a false way to show our love for someone.

You can't give depressed people a false or pretend way of being affectionate, and even though if he did return, which is unlikely now, then in a short time you will push him away again, and this only happens because of this illness, so what we want is for people to help us with this illness, to lonely hurt or just wanna talk what worries us. I do worry about this chap who you have spoken to for over 11 years and never met him, and maybe this is from a dating service, and please correct me if I am wrong, but these discussions might have been quite informative.

Loneliness puts us in a corner, but we so much want someone to share our life with, but I'm sure that we must have antennas up on our head saying 'beware this person is depressed, handle with extreme care', so we can't seem to stop this persona on our face, our our body and the way we communicate with others, so what does this mean. Well even if we do get a partner our depression will overflow onto them, and before long we will lose them as well, and what this does is to cement our depression, so unfortunately this new love of our life will go as well, so we have to concentrate on overcoming our depression and this can include social anxiety.

Need someone to talk to? stop feeling isolated

It's a two sided sword here, and as much as we want someone to love and to be with us forever, most people can't handle depression with someone else. We often get confused by meeting someone new, our hearts are racing, our body is sweating, we go out for dinner etc. I'm sorry if all of this is disappointing, but one way to help you is to keep posting here, you have problems that all of us have experienced, and even though I have overcome my depression I know that someone in my life would be nice, but I would never life with them and that's because of many reasons which I can post if you would like me to.

L Geoff.

Thanks so much for your kind words. I'm sorry that your first post had to be about me! The people at beyond blue were so concerned about me after they read my post that I got a late night phone call from a cat team.

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I wasn't expecting that. I'm ok but only just. Yes I can see that my ex-boyfriend is probably saying these things because he is hurt and still finds the break-up painful. He sent me another at 3am but again it wasn't pleasant. I couldn't stop crying after I read it. I've been doing that a lot lately.

But I have now accepted that he's not the one for me. And I don't deserve to be treated like that. So I'm not going to contact him again, and I hope he leaves me alone. My psychologist has given me a few mini goals to work on, but I don't feel I can even begin to try. I don't currently have a job because my last job was a contract and this has ended. I'm just no where near being in the right head space to even go online and look at jobs.

It seems everyone is giving me advice, but very few people really understand what I'm going through. I know my parents won't put up with me being unemployed for much longer. I'm sorry I haven't even asked you about your depression.

Why do people feel lonely?

I too don't have many friends. I'm sorry to hear that your family isn't supportive. I guess in my case I'm quite dependent on them now. So even though they don't understand me, they are supporting me financially. Gosh I really sound like a loser don't i? My whole life is in ruins. It's a wonder that you'd even want to talk to me!

Well if you still do, I'd be happy to listen to your story, if you feel comfortable in sharing it, that is. Thanks again for your kind words and I hope I hear from you soon. By the way my real name is Gabby. Brokenndbruised - I am always here if you would like to talk. Also, you are deserving of love.

Though my response is laconic, it's the essence I consider it to be the most important.

What is loneliness?

You deserve it. Robbie O. Don't feel sorry my first post was to you Gabby. Even if people do not or can not reply to you So just remember Gabby, for your honesty and bravery here YOU are and will be helping many others along the way Me and alot of other people ARE here with you and for you. THAT is something you need to keep reminding yourself, and feeling a bit proud of Gabby!

I also think sometimes, some family and friends feel a bit or very helpless because they cant help you If there heart is in the right place, they will still be there later kido I hope you and all others here. THAT i knowis going to be so very hard EDIT- just so you know Gabby If you ever talk about feelings or situations or share anything that i have either not experience or i don't understand hoe that must feel,please know at least this about me I'll not sit here on the side of my bed 2am yes, with lonely hurt or just wanna talk dog If nothing else,Im a stupidly honest guy Ab's.

Dealing with difficult people

I just want to finish reading what you typed to me and others Gabby I so know what you mean about, a "job" just not being even close to what you could handle NO, you dont sound lonely hurt or just wanna talk a "looser" I thinkout of respect for you and how brave and open and what you have shared to all of us,that i owe you at least as best as i can I'll try doing it this way Chronic PTSD from extreme abusive childhood,flashbacks,ruminations,social triggers etc etc etc with total avoidence.

I'll do it in another place that dose not hijack or distract from what we are here for and that is Gabby. Don't be sorry Robbie. What's the THAT? I'm not the only one with depression and if you feel comfortable I'd like to listen to you. You have been kind enough to reach out to me.

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I'm still awake and it's 6. I'll be lucky to get a few hours sleep. So please don't think this thread is just for me. As you said to me, don't be afraid to explain your feelings and what you're going through.

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I'm also a good listener. Sorry when I went online last night your longer post wasn't there then, it obviously wasn't approved at that stage. Robbie after reading your story, I cried for you. I know it must have taken a lot of courage to share what's happened to you. I'm so sorry that you've had such a traumatic childhood. I wish I could give you a cuddle right now.

But I know that there's not anything I could say or do that will take your pain away.

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You said you have 2 kids, how old are they and do you see them often? I have a daughter myself who is 19 and lives with me.

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She's actually more independent than I am at 41! I could go into more detail about her father, but in a nutshell she hasn't seen him since she was about 6 years old. I live in Melbourne. Please don't say you shouldn't be talking about yourself here.

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