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E very night, about a third of adults have problems falling or staying asleep that aren't related to a persistent sleep disorder. As they lie in bed, many are caught in the classic paradox of insomnia: wanting sleep so badly that they can't get it. For doctors, insomnia presents a chicken or egg problem.

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By Watn Shatto November 7, Before my partner and I lived together, we would always send each other good night texts. It was really sweet and always made me feel special because who doesn't want to feel like the last thing the person you're crazy about thinks of? The thing is though, if it's just a quick little "nighty night," then it can quickly turn into a routine that kills the magic.


Video fatigue is real, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith, and now is a good time to be candid about emotional needs.

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Specifically, I have one group of friends who have now decided that we will catch up for drinks and a video chat every Tuesday evening. We would never have caught up that regularly in pre-corona life.

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My housemate has a similar problem. What is the protocol for managing social lives in these Covid times? Back when I first started speaking at public events, I discovered a kind of fatigue I had never encountered before. A therapist friend explained to me that for some people, being watched by multiple eyes for long stretches of time can just wring out your adrenal system.

You see yourself watching and being watched.

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All this observing crowds out your ability to simply think, or be. Zoom made this experience literal. Most of our days now are spent watching ourselves being watched, bent like a digital Narcissus over thumbnails of our own faces, learning just how painfully oxymoronic it is to try to appear unobserved. That self-consciousness is exhausting.

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I miss the way that in a great class or conversation I would forget where I was and start to feel like a pair of eyes and a brain floating in space, losing track — in a way the web camera would never permit — of myself. Video fatigue is real. And crisis fatigue is real. As for what you can do about it: now is a good time to be candid about having emotional needs, because almost everybody on the planet is going through some kind of suffering for the same reason.

It will take an all-time historical low of imaginative effort from your loved ones to understand that you might need to take care of yourself.

1. think positive

Practise being able to say what you need out loud, without excuses or cover stories. Carve time for yourself away from the experience of being watched.

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Zoom will be waiting when you next want to log in. Do you have a conflict, crossro or dilemma you need help with?

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Questions can be anonymous. Read terms of service here.

2. pick one thing to focus on

Leading questions Friendship. Eleanor Gordon-Smith.

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Thu 16 Apr Bye-bye, Fomo — now the party is being Zoomed to my laptop Hadley Freeman. Reuse this content.

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